Lately i've been feeling a bit iffy towards some people. I really cant say why exactly. Might be the weather, something I ate... or maybe "it's" starting again...
I've always been envious of other people when they talk about best friends, friends from way-back-when, elementary, high-school and even college... None of which I have, pathetic right? I would like to think that I am easy to get along with, I'm not really a pain in the ass I think, and I can be pretty charming... However in spite of all of that... "it" usually happens in the end. Why is that?
Is it because I find it hard to fully open up to people? Have I been that traumatized by "him" that since the "incident" I now have my guard up most of the time? Or maybe it's because I set my expectations too high in regards to friends. Could it be that deep inside, I secretly crave affection? To be honest, i'm just too tired to think about it now. Work is work, And life in general has been feeling too routine lately. What is wrong with me? I find myself just shrugging it off, trying to ignore the question completely. Whatever it is, I cant really say... All i'm sure about is the feeling, this feeling which is all too familiar, this feeling I usually get before "it" happens.
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